I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
