i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
