Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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