Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
