I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
