Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
