Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
