Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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