Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
