Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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