I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woke up backwards on a recliner
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
