I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
