Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
