This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
