so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
