Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
