are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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