So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
