Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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