beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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