and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
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Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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