Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She bit a glass in half.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
