ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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