I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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