As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
