Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
