i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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