Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
