She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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