He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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