You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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