Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
