just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
