right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
