i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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