Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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