Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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