he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
