I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she looked like the before picture.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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