It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize