I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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