Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
