She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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