Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
