Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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