Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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