she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
