Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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