I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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