Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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