I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He felt like a one man threesome
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
