Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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