Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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