I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
