if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
