i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
