I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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