Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
