redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
